Something Has To Change

So I never thought that I could actually make it these last few weeks! I don't think I have ever been this exhausted. There was no way to prepare myself for this whole situation either. Anyway, I feel as though I have been hit by a huge truck every day and now my sweet husband is just getting used to me looking that way. Pretty sad. But there are no two ways around feeding Vance twice in the middle of the night so I guess the point of this post is to start a goal. The goal to shower everyday, do my make-up and get dressed no matter how terrible the night was or whatever other excuses that I come up with. This is Mostly to help me feel better about myself and the situation and also to help remind Jordan why he was attracted to me before our sweet baby came into the picture. So there you have it... My goal to look and feel better!!! I'm excited! Hopefully Jordan will be excited too:)

New things Vance does...

1) He has discovered his tongue. He spits it out over and over and over. I guess it is what he does to pass the time or something.

2) He is starting to smile. Not on command but just randomly.

3) He likes to roll over. I don't think that he is actually meaning to roll over. Maybe he is just heavier on one side or something because babies don't roll until much later.

4)He is talking! Jordan can get him to talk for like 15 minutes. He is probably telling Jordan of how bored he is with mom all day and that he misses him while he's at work.

5) He has started dreaming. He makes noises all night long and when I go to get him, thinking that he is awake, he is sleeping! Kinda creepy. I actually hate it because it is always a sad whine. I don't like the thought that he could be having nightmares!

6) He holds his head up so well! We really work on having tummy time. We don't want a flat-headed child and when he is in his car seat he either is not strong enough or he gets lazy and his head flops down! It is terrible!

So Much Love

I don't think that Vance could be more loved. My sister is obsessed with our little boy. I don't know if she will love her own child like she loves mine... ha ha no she will. She cannot go a day without seeing him. It is touching to me that she could love him so much. I know that he loves her and knows her voice very well. He is going to love to play with Auntie Angie when he gets a little bit older. She is so fun and energetic. She is quick to think of fun activities. When she plays with children, it doesn't take very long for the kids to trust her. She is warm and caring and they can feel that. I can't wait for her little one to come and play!!! I hope that he/she knows how lucky they are to be coming to a mommy that is so strong and loving.

Angie is not the only one. There is so much love from the rest of the family too. When Dallin and Beau first saw Vance, there was gentleness in the eyes and more love than I have ever seen in them. They both held him so close, talking to him. They are the sweetest uncles! We love them!

As for grandparents, wow! This little baby is so lucky. Both my parents and Jordan's parents are obsessed with Vance. It's a good thing that I am the one who feeds him because when we are around any of the them, that is the only time I get to hold my baby boy.

Vance you are loved, there is no doubt about that!

Baby's First Mullet

HAHA OK, Vance has a mullet. Sorta looks like my dad when he doesn't get his hair cut for a few weeks! ha ha. It wasn't until about 2 weeks ago that Vance started losing all of his hair on top of his head. The back is just getting thicker and thicker! Pretty soon we are gunna have to break out the little ponies. Sick. Anyway, we love it and hopefully something will grow on top!

Newborn Pictures

For my baby shower, my friend Shay gave me a free session to do Vance's newborn pictures! I was stoked! They turned out really cute. We don't have them all back but these are the sample pictures. There will be more to come...

Way too early to be starting this!

I walked in the room and there Vance was with his finger up his nose. He was so relaxed! HA HA! So funny. These are the moments that I love!

Thanksgiving Weekend

We loved this past weekend! It was so eventful. We did not stop for 4 days. We were in Highland at the Tall grandparents, in Park City with the Goulding grandparents, and in Ogden with the Tiner grandparents. Wow! So much driving but all worth it.

We enjoyed a yummy yummy Thanksgiving dinner at my grandparents in Highland. It was the first time that my dad got to see the baby! It was so special to see him hold Vance. He gets this high weird, but funny voice when he talks to him! We were all laughing at him.

Angie and Bill moved down to Provo to Angie's old condo last weekend. The condo had tons of things that needed to be fixed so we all went over and helped fix them. Well really my dad and mom did. Vance and I just watched. Everything looks so good now!

We also blessed the baby this weekend. It was so exciting! Jordan and I were discussing how weird it is that we are 22 and 21 and already have blessed our first baby! So weird. Neither of us saw that coming. Jordan gave Vance a powerful and touching blessing. I wish I would have had someone write it down in shorthand or something. It was funny because Jordan was going to keep it to the dad's and grandpa's to stand in for the blessing, but then he figured that he might as well have all the men from the family stand in since they were there. He didn't think that it was going to be a lot but it ended up being 12 men! I wondered if some of them were even touching Vance. It was a great strength to see all those men who honor the priesthood and were able to bless my little boy. I am also so grateful for a husband who loves that calling and has a testimony of the priesthood. I love him!

After sacrament meeting, we all ate soup and salad (so yummy, thank you grandma, Sandy , mom and Angie). Being the crazy day that it was, I only got ONE picture! I am so mad about this! Oh well, I will write down everything that went on and who was there. I am so happy that all my family was able to be there for this special event in our lives. We love them and feel so blessed to have such a close family that loves us. The blessing was a great way to top off the busy holiday weekend.

Our cute little man with his cowboy shirt

We finally got around to taking Vance's newborn pictures and our family pictures! They are going to be so cute:) This is the cute little outfit that he wore. He is in between sizes so his newborn clothes look too short and the 0-3 months size is pretty baggy but I couldn't help myself when I saw that shirt at the Gap. I didn't care if it was baggy, I loved it and I knew he would too:) He did not wear the blue mittens, ha ha. He did not like the flash of the camera at all. He would give Shay the stink eye when she would take all the pictures! What a little punk, but should I expect anything different? No, he is my child so I don't know what else I would expect when he doesn't like something but to be a little stinker:) It was fun and hopefully we will have some cute pictures of him and our new little family.

P.S. This would be his face when he is thinking, "Mom, seriously this is stupid, you have a zillion pictures of me with this same face!" ha ha ha

Funny Little Things that He Does

I thought I would write a few little things that Vance does...

1) Vance and I were laying in bed the other morning and clearly he was a little too relaxed because he passed some pretty loud gas. As he did so, he scared himself pretty bad. He threw up his hands and had the saddest face every time. He did this three times and I was laughing so hard. I wish I would have had the camera!

2) Once again, he and I were laying there and I was talking to him and he looked at me and reached out with his sweet little hands and touched my face. Of course I smiled with tears in my eyes because finally I felt like he knew I was there.

3) He goes through moments where he cannot decide if he is happy, sad, excited, worried or confused. He makes the weirdest faces. It is always when he is falling asleep.

4) He swats at everything.

5) He loves falling asleep on my chest and I can't help it because I love it too! I know it is a bad habit but how can I stop doing something that is so sweet!?

6) We love his squeaks and grunts as he falls asleep.

7) He is the most cuddly baby. He loves to be close and tight to us.

8) He does hate to have his arms swaddled. He will grunt and sigh loudly until we let his arms out.

9) He literally spits his binky out so far when he is sick of it.

10) He loves being dressed warmly. He will cry until we dress him from head to toe.

Vance Harper Goulding

I was induced on October 29th, 2009. That put me at 40 weeks exactly. I was so nervous the night before. I thought things like... what the heck was I thinking, I am not ready to be a mom! I was doubting myself. It was weird though because throughout the whole pregnancy up until the night before I was very confident. I have taken care of kids my whole life but that night it dawned on me that I really was in trouble. I couldn't leave this kid with his mommy at the end of the night and go home with some money. No instead it would be me taking care of this little baby and in no way making money:) I didn't like the thought that I wouldn't have freedom or be able to stay up all night with Jordan watching movies and then sleeping in the next morning. None of that would be able to ever happen again. Such selfish thoughts eh? Well, you all know that I am completely honest in my blog.

So as we woke up the morning of the delivery, I felt calm and a sense of "I can do this". We went to the hospital at 5 a.m. and they were able to get an I.V. in by 5:40. I looked like a trophy! haha!

They wanted to start my pitoson but unfortunately, my blood pressure dropped drastically and I went through times when I would pass out and throw up. They had to wait for a while and then they began the doses. I didn't go very long until I got my epidural:) I'm not a pain tolerant person at all. From there on out, we were just waiting. We watched the Grinch and talked with family. About 8 hours later, Vance was ready to make his entrance! Everything seemed like it went so fast. I didn't realize that I had been in labor for 8 hours and I also didn't realize that I had pushed out a baby in the end!!! The beauty of an epidural:) He weighed 8 lbs. 1 oz. and he was 21 inches long. Way smaller than the doctors expected. He was perfect!

All those selfish thoughts went right out the window. I didn't care that we couldn't stay up all night. I didn't care that I would lose sleep. All I knew is that I would do anything and everything for this little boy to make him know that I loved him.

Ready to go!

Here I am at 38 weeks pregnant. I never thought this day would come! It is so close and I am ready to go whenever our little Vance wants to come:) We are excited and we can't wait!

Weekend up at the Cabin

My family is so fun! We always enjoy being together especially up at the cabin. We got to drive through West Yellowstone, which we haven't done in a long time. It was a little cold but so cool. We saw the elk bugling and threatening to fight each other. It was so crazy! We also got to go to Mesa falls. There we took this family picture. It is pretty rare our family EVER does this so I love it and am so excited to post it. We are all best friends in my family and I love them!

Our Year Anniversary

It has been a year, can you believe it! It actually was a year on September 27th. Jordan, my sweet husband, knew that I needed to get away. He took me up to snowbird for the weekend! The trees were changing colors and it was beautiful. I felt like I was no where near SLC. We enjoyed yummy dinner, an amazing massage, swimming, a little arcade action and a lot of relaxing. I loved every minute of it.

Then on saturday night we went down into Salt Lake and he surprised me with reservations to the Melting Pot. YUMMY YUMMY food! We were there for 2 hours talking and loving the amazing food. It was great!

He makes me so happy and I can't wait to see what the future will bring:)

Still loving the sleepless nights...

So, I don't know what to do. I cannot fall asleep until 5:30 a.m. and then I sleep until 11 a.m.! This schedule that the baby has put me on is ridiculous! I hate it. I am a few days short of 34 weeks, if you can believe it, so I don't have very many days until I am up with the baby every TWO hours! Maybe this wacko schedule will prepare me for that. 

As I was reading up on preterm labor on Monday,  I realized that I have been experiencing like 3 of the biggest and most common symptoms for about a week now! When we went to the doctor last week he said that I would probably have this baby about a week early, but if I went this early, I would have to be on bed rest. This means I would have to read a novel of some sort and I hate reading, so that would just be miserable!  Oh, and I would also be given SHOTS, which I don't do very well! So, I am a little nervous to go back to the doctor next Wednesday to see what he says.

 

While we are on this subject of the baby coming, I can't believe that it is almost here and that I am going to have to have this baby. It is a weird feeling that no one else can do it for me and that I can't get out of it. I hate the thought of the pain, but I know I'll be fine.  Lately I have been so nervous about doing the other things too, like nursing, changing diapers, being loving and patient when I am so tired, and just being a mother! I have nannied for years but this one is mine. I don't have to leave after the night is over or after two weeks of playing. This baby is all mine. It is very overwhelming and I am sure that if any mothers are reading this it might sound a little funny, but oh well, I'll be honest, I am scared! ha ha!  But I guess it's time for me to experience something completely different and I think I am ready:) 

Big Sky Montana

This past weekend Jordan and I drove up to my parents house in Billings, MT. It was a beautiful drive. It took us 9 hours or so which is about an hour more than usual. There was so much construction and too many stupid/rude driver on the road. PLUS, we didn't stop anywhere for real food because my mom made homemade enchiladas and we wanted those so I was getting a little mad by the end... lucky Jordan! 

While we were there we really just hung out, played games, went hiking to this beautiful waterfall in Absorkee( not sure if that is how you spell it), went to Dallin's show, and ate a lot of yummy food. 

Mom and I made our own natural lounge chairs. Hers was a little "cooler" than mine only because her whole bum was in the water haha! 
The water was so cold but all I wanted to do was swim in it! The boys tried but it was the kind of cold that is painful when you are getting in and out. So, I opted out!

Dallin is so talented! He has a passion for singing and playing the guitar and he is so good at both. I loved watching him! 

My sweet mom has found her nitch. She loves to garden! She planted a couple Zucchini plants and they have taken off! She has zucchini everywhere! So we attempted to make Zucchini bread but my mom and I had a little misunderstanding and we quadrupled the apple sauce and so it came out really moist but super gross! I forgot to take a picture of the batter but it was straight apple sauce. We thought that it looked normal and we didn't figure out the problem until the bread wouldn't set up right in the oven. It was stinkin' funny! 

We love going up to Montana! We love being up there because it is so peaceful and calm. It was so fun and we really didn't want to leave.:( 

Sleepless nights... and super productive days!

I wish I could say that these sleepless nights were caused by talking with my love or watching a great movie while eating something yummy, but unfortunately, it is from being pregnant and sleeping in a double size bed with a 6'4" man! I am now out on the couch writing on my blog while my body won't let me sleep! It is awesome:) 

So today and for the past week, Angie and I have been plunking away at re-doing everything in her house. We began with weeding, then proceeded to organizing everything which meant a few trips to the D.I., putting in new lighting, and the list seriously goes on and on. I have the fun jobs of organizing everything and Angie has more of the electrician jobs... fortunately she listened when my dad tried to teach us that super boring stuff. ha ha! But with all this hard work,  it is coming right along and tomorrow we should be done, yay! 

Bright and early!

So this is kind of a pity me blog entry. I ended work a couple weeks early to do this babysitting thing that didn't work out because the sweet moms bailed. I couldn't get my hours back so what am I doing? NOTHING! I feel terrible about this! I am not pregnant enough to not have a job. As I told my hard-working husband that I was sorry about not working and I'll try to find something else, he just said, " No, that's not necessary baby, we'll be fine." Gosh and he said it with a loving smile! Sometimes I wonder where he came from! So needless to say I try to make up for my lazy feelings by getting up when his alarm goes off at 6:20 to make him a lunch. He loves it! I feel like a better wife but as you can see, I don't fall back to sleep! It is so annoying and I am starting to not like being the nice wife... why did I ever start making lunches!? ha ha! Oh well, it is peaceful in the morning. The baby always wakes up and gives me a hard kick to the ribs to say good morning and I love that he is there to keep me company. So really I am just being a whiner and will continue making my sweet husband lunch every morning:)

I'm in love!

Ya know those times when you look at your husband and think, I love him more today?? When I looked at this picture, something triggered that feeling. I am so in love with this man and I don't know what I would do without him. I mean look at him trying to carry his pregnant wife... funny sight huh? But he is so cute to try :) Not that he is not strong, I just have gained a few, haha so it's a little harder than usual. I am so lucky that he chose me! 

I just needed to say that to him! I love you!

The kickin' Disco concert

Angie and Bill, Ally, Brent and the kids and Jordan and I went to the crazy 4th of July festivities up in Park City. This concert was at the Canyons. We took a gondola ride to get up the mountain. It was kinda scary, but fun! The concert was outdoors in between all these shops and restaurants. The Disco Drippers was the band of the night. That band brought out the most interesting people! It was swarming with wine and cheese eating people, hippies, lovers, drinkers, and people who thought they were dancers. It kind of reminded me of concerts in the park in Chico. It was so chill and fun! WE LOVE SUMMER NIGHTS LIKE THIS ONE!

After the concert we went to a house, well, really it is more like a mansion. It is a house that Jordan and I were house-sitting. These pictures of Ang and Bill were seriously candid! So intense, but if you know the couple, it is not a big surprise at all! We played Rock Band, foosball, and poker into the wee-hours of the night! It was such a great night:)